


Consumed By Ghosts Of the Past

by SocialOutsider



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e02 Kill Ari Part 2, Gen, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 18:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16069211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocialOutsider/pseuds/SocialOutsider
Summary: Gerald in the aftermath of his second confrontation with terrorist Ari Haswari. Set during Kill Ari Part 2. Oneshot.





	Consumed By Ghosts Of the Past

I thought I was ready.

Ready to come back to work and get into the swing of things again.

I... I thought I was strong enough to face the demons that had plagued me and that I'd beaten them down.

Hell, I even believed for one second that I was ready to do this.

Ready to face up to the daunting challenges that come with being an NCIS Assistant Medical Examiner.

But..

But given what just happened earlier, I'm starting to realize that I'm not ready.

Not now.

Maybe..

Maybe not ever again.

In the past, I was confident and secure in my role.

Almost innocent.

Or rather, very naively innocent.

I'd go to the crime scenes with Dr. Mallard and do my job, knowing full well that I was focused and also that I'd be able to tune out via my MP3 player if Doctor Mallard's endless ramblings got on my damn nerves which needlessly to say happened way too many times.

I also knew that Dr. Mallard didn't approve of my MP3 player but I didn't care.

No...

To me, my job at NCIS was just something along the lines of earning another pay-cheque.

Hell, I thought I'd be able to stay in the job for as long as possible but..

But everything changed the day that bastard, Ari Haswari came into the NCIS morgue via a body-bag.

Yes, I escaped with my life.

However, I earned a bullet to the left shoulder, Ari's way of telling Doctor Mallard that he didn't like being lied to.

When the siege ended, I took temporary leave from my job and spent the next few months in rehab, recovering not only from the physical injury but also the mental, emotional and psychological sides of it too.

After all, I'm an assistant, not an NCIS Special Agent.

After tonight, who knows where I'll go?

Maybe I'll stay here.

Move somewhere else or...

Or go back to rehab.

One thing is crystal clear, though.

I will not be returning to NCIS.

Not after tonight.

Not now.

Not ever again.

And that's final.

**Fin**


End file.
